#25-28 Halloween, Halloween II, Halloween III, Halloween 4

So this is about the last major horror franchise that I've never made it all the way through. Freddy and I have been friends for a long time. I watched all of the Jason movies last year. I've suffered through the Leprechaun movies (even Back2ThaHood). I've seen most of the great Universal flicks and I have plans to watch a few Hammer ones this year as well. So Michael Myers is about the last villain standing.

Halloween, of course, is a classic. It's good in a lot of ways. Carpenter's masterpiece of horror, that basically ushered in the slasher flicks of the 80s, really can't be beat as far as movies about a masked guy that slowly lumbers towards his victims goes. The best thing about the characters in this flick is that you kind of actually believe that they'd fall victim to this heap of stabbing anger. Jamie Lee only gets away because she has an ounce of brains and 10 seconds of warning.

Halloween II is just a sequel. It doesn't really offer anything to the mythos except more proof that Myers simply cannot be killed and that Laurie Strode is actually related to him. This kind of establishes motive, which really just makes the whole thing less scary. In the first flick it seemed like if you were anywhere in Myers' vacinity, you were in trouble. But it turns out that if you're not related to him or a friend of one of his relatives, you're probably okay. Then 'ol Loomis blows himself and Michael all to hell and ends the story forever by killing off the most interesting people in the movies. Forever!

Then they tried Halloween III. Oh lord, what a misfire. The creative team behind the Halloween series, still lead by Carpenter, had the bright idea that they should just do a different, independent Halloween themed movie every year and just call them all Halloween. Their first try at this concept, which might have worked out if they had just started it with the second installment, was a jumbled tale of a mask maker's attempt to kill a generation of trick or treaters with future/stonehenge technology and robot henchmen. And it's called Season of the Witch. (I shit you not, no mention of Myers except for the original Halloween being shown on the TV). This flick has some nice moments but it definitely falls into the late-second-act slump harder than any horror movie I've ever seen. (The first act is interesting as they are setting up characters and the scary situation. Then in the second act, everyone moves really slowly and meanders around trying to figure out what to do for WAY too long, Then the third act finally pics up again and gets to it.) EIGHT MORE DAYS TILL HALLOWEEN... SILLLL-VER SHAMROCK!

Halloween 4 finally gets into new territory for me. From this point on, I haven't seen any of the lesser sequels. I was pretty pleasantly surprised by this one. There are decent characters, including the return of both Myers AND Loomis, and the filmmaking picks up the pace, body count and scope of the situation. The one huge thing that stuck out to me in this flick is what horrible assholes all the people in this small, tragedy stricken town are. They have absolutely zero sympathy for the folks involved with the slaughter that happened in their town only ten years prior, even going so far as to tease a guilt stricken youth about being an orphan and trying to satisfy their own hormones in stead of being wary of the deadly anniversary that is upon them. The only dudes that really try and go above and beyond in order to save some lives are the town drunks, and, of course, that doesn't end well. The end of this flick is actually pretty good AND makes a viewer eager to see the next installment... which I will, very soon.

#22-24 Scream 3, Scream 4 and Scary Movie

So we bowled through the last two Scream movies last night, and I like this franchise. I kind of hope they keep going, getting up to the time traveling installment that is suggested in the Stab series contained within the Scream movies. And while we're on the topic, there is a Stab movie that starts off with one girl straight up stabbing her fellow movie buff. There's a premise that I'd like to see fleshed out. We know the killer right off the bat. How do they make that work?

Any-who, Scream 3 wasn't written by Williamson, and even though I remember very little from it, even having just watched it, in my mind I have the impression that I liked it more than Scream 2. I guess I'm just a bigger fan or Scream goes to Hollywood than Scream goes to College.

Then there's the fourth installment. It still gets the job done. I wonder if they would have gotten more play out of it if they could have given it a slick, you-don't-have-to-have-seen-the-other-movies title like Fast and Furious, or The Final Destination? I guess that The Scream or Screams just didn't work for the filmmakers, so they just went with plain old Scream 4. They probably lost out on a lot of the younger demographic, who just said, "Lame, I have to watch three other movies from way back in the 90s to understand this? I'm going to see FastFive instead. No backstory necessary!"

Then there's Scary Movie. Stealing Scream's working title, this parody from the Wayans brothers keeps the dick and fart jokes and cultural references coming just fast enough to start a franchise of their own. Good for them. I have to admit that it's totally fun watching these movies, and the Wayans Bros. are pretty much the best in the business at making these low brow comedies. Scary Movie actually started the avalanche of new parodies that runs all the way up to this year's Hungover Games! Sweet!

#20 Haunter and #21 Children of the Corn II

Haunter is a pretty well made little horror thriller about the residents of a house that has seen its share of bloodshed trying to catch a killer. I watched it on the recommendation of new pal Sarah, and I'm glad I gave it a go. Abigail Breslin leads the show in a perfect blend of Groundhog Day, American Horror Story and The Others. Also, it has a plot device that revolves around Peter and the Wolf, which has always kind of creeped me out for some reason. I won't reveal too much more, just go watch it. It's on Instant Netflix.

Also, pretty much to counteract the 2010 nostalgia for the 80s and slick cinematography of Haunter, I watched The Children of the Corn II and was ALSO pleasantly surprised. This flick just barely eked it out when it counted, always providing just enough substance (whether it be blood splatter or good old fashioned character development) to keep me interested for 90 minutes (a feat that a few flicks that I've watched this year have failed to do). I'm glad I made a commitment to try and watch more crappy franchises this year. There has to be a reason that these things keep getting made, right?

#18 & 19 Scream and Scream 2

Scream is probably the defining horror movie of my generation. As much as I love to talk about all the 80s horror flicks that molded my youth, they were all around a bit before my time. I mean, A Nightmare on Elm Street came out 2 years after I was born, for cryin' out loud.

But Scream hit theaters when I was a freshman in high school, and perfectly captured the angsty, self doubting, self aware attitude that was gaining so much ground at the time. Every now and then Hollywood lucks out and wins one. Kevin Williamson's screenplay started a bidding war and eventually attracted the biggest name in horror, Wes Craven.

The sharp, slick script and the fun young actors who deliver the dialogue are still fun to watch today. It's crazy to think that this was really the first self-referencial horror movie (sure, there might have been others, but history remembers only one). Bottom line, genre-redifining as it was, Scream is just a good horror movie in general. From the babes to the mystery to the tone and gore of it. Scream just got it done. And that opening scene is, just, moo(*kiss)wah! Perfection. It's still fun imagining going in to see a horror movie staring Drew Barrymore (she was in all the ads and on all the posters) and then... that.

Scream 2 is a sequel. It knows it is and it recaptures all the key elements of the first flick except for the surprise and newness of the whole affair. Annnnnd, whatareyougonnado? It's still a good time. There are more awesome folks added to the cast, including Buffy and Justified. And don't forget Roseanne's sister. Too bad that they had to kill off all of the really great parts of the first flick IN the first flick, leaving only Jaime Kennedy to carry on the fun of the first go-round. That, I guess, was the real magic of the first Scream that doesn't quite translate when the body count starts up again and new people start dying. The magic was that everyone was kind of having a good time in the first movie. Actors, killers, victims, lookers-on. Pretty much everybody but Party of Five. She was the only one who really cared that all kinds of people were getting hacked up. In this flick, it seems like everyone is a little more aware of that and aren't so quick to laugh it off, making this movie super 90s AND completely un90s. Weird.

#17 The Hole

Joe Dante (director of Gremlins) delivers this little chiller that almost turns out awesome. I really like the tone of this flick, because it's almost shot like kids shows are now, so it feels kind of warm and comfortable. Then it hits you with some really creepy moments.

As the story (some kids find a mysterious bottomless hole in their basement and let out their worst fears) progresses, it gets a little wonky. It's like they wanted to keep it simple enough for kids to watch, but then made it too adult and scary. The 'worst fears' swing wildly from a clown puppet to an abusive father. What?

If I was a kid right now, I'd probably love this flick. It has a lot of the feel of some of the old stuff that I used to watch, like the filmmakers wanted kids to see it but they knew that parents wouldn't allow it. Think The Gate meets iCarly.

It is a little slow, but Bruce Dern does show up at one point. So that's cool.

#16 House

There are several movies and a TV show called 'House'. I like the 80s horror movie version and it's not-quite-about-the-same-thing sequel. This almost turned into a franchise except for the ill-fated third installment that had nothing to do with the rest of the series and wasn't even distributed  in America as part of it. Then they made House IV. Weird. Oh, well. The first two are good.

I watch this one almost every year. It's just one of those 80s horror movies that has the essential elements that I need. No-name actor in the lead, so he could die. Television actors as the nosey neighbor and the villain, giving it their all. Ghosts, possessions, monsters in the closet, Vietnam flashbacks, a catchy 80s soundtrack, hot babes, floating garden tools, what more could you possibly ask for?

#15 The Dark Half

You'd think that this one would have turned out better. George Romero adapts Stephen King's last novel written before the writer got sober. Timothy Hutton plays a writer whose psyche is SO split between the angry, booze swilling crazy person and the mild mannered family man that he actually splits into two people. Of course, the drunky version of himself then goes on a killing spree. Also, there's birds flying around in a creepy way.

Again, all of this sounds awesome, but for some reason this movie kind of meanders and plods along. I mean, when Michael Rooker seems bored and calm, you know that nothing is going on. That guy gets excited about everything! Also, I heard that Hutton was a pain in the ass. He kind of looks like it in the movie.